I’m doing it afraid!

November 30, 2012


afraid

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Fear kills everything – creativity, ambition, passion, purpose…everything! I’ve written about how fear effects creativity, however, this post is about the other.

It has been almost a year since my last post. Funny, that sounded like a confession to a priest. I could give you an excuse, like I’ve been busy with so many projects, that I’ve had some life changes or that I had writers block. The truth is that I just procrastinated until a year went by – mostly because I was afraid to write something new.  I’ve also had a lot of personal change in my life and have been trying to find the confidence I once had as a writer. Today, I’m doing it afraid.

One of the changes in my life, in the last year especially, is that I have a new relationship with God. Joyce Myers, a Christian evangelist, taught me this phrase, “do it afraid”. It seems to have had a real impact in many areas of my life. Her perspective is that whatever it is that I’m afraid of isn’t worth keeping me from what I should be doing. What’s the worst that can happen? Will I die? No. Will I get embarrassed? Maybe – still won’t die. Will I get a chance at growth and a new experience even if I fail? Yes. Will I have missed that opportunity if I didn’t try? Yes.

I turned 47 this year. My youngest child is no longer a teenager, I’m going through a divorce – for the second time and I bought my first pair of reading glasses just a week ago. Truth is I needed those about three years ago. I’m now a grandfather and for some reason decided to get eight tattoos making up an entire sleeve on my left arm – ok that part is pretty cool. And I finally decided to do something about my PTSD I developed from the Army and my experiences in war, a lot of stuff to be afraid of right?

Here’s my point. There were times I felt like giving up. There were many times I wasn’t sure what I was doing anymore. Even still, times I questioned my confidence in the things I’ve always trusted. Until the day that phrase entered my life. “Do it afraid”. At first it was just a quiet voice in the back of my mind, but it has been growing louder over this last year. Today I choose to listen to it. I’m doing it afraid!

So what does that mean? And how has it already helped me? It means I’m surrendering my fear and taking the risk of failing with the hope that there will be some personal growth and change. Yes, CHANGE. They say the definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results each time. I’ve been stuck in that cycle too long and I’m willing to venture into the fearful unknown for the sake of change. It’s already working. Mostly because when you have to surrender to something, it works best if you surrender it to something bigger than yourself. I choose God for this purpose. The difference is nothing short of a miracle.

I’m sharing this with you because it has been a fear of mine to present myself to the world in a different way than I present myself to God. In essence I’ve created two different people to live the same life and that hasn’t worked out so well. It has been killing my spirit. Thus, preventing me from change. Acceptance can be a fearful thing – mostly because honesty can be brutal. Today I’m doing it afraid.

The benefits are already being revealed. Each day I become less afraid of things that use to keep me from growing, learning from others and defining integrity I thought I could never obtain. Not to mention, my creative abilities and passion for life are more flavorful, more meaningful, and more purposeful. John Maxwell says, “ talent is NEVER enough”. He outlines 16 different principles that help to form a more purpose driven life. Still, fear can keep you from implementing even just one of them. Today I’m doing it afraid.

To many of us go through life fearful of trying something new, different or unknown. I’m halfway through my life and I refuse to behave this way any longer. Today I’m doing it afraid.

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